The Bear and The Crow

Yesterday, on the radio, I heard this amazing story about a grizzly bear rescuing a crow from drowning.  (To confirm the story, I looked it up, and sure enough on YouTube, you can watch the story unfold.)  The crow is cawing, loudly, frantically---and the bear calmly swoops the bird out with its big, powerful paw.  He then walks away and eats an apple.
When the announcer finished telling the story, I shut the radio off and processed what I had just heard. I felt my eyes swell with tears.  A grizzly bear is an animal prone to aggression.  A crow is an annoying bird.  But, the bear had enough compassion to save the bird. 
A bear.  A bird.
But what about people?  
We were created to love and be loved.
How can you help someone today?  Maybe hold that critical tongue of yours in check? Maybe, without making a judgement call, you give that man standing outside of Wal-Mart with the sign a bag of bananas, crackers, cheese, and water?  Perhaps you can call and pray with a friend who you have been overlooking lately.
As Christians, we are called to be compassionate people.  Has your compassion be hidden?  Life is fresh when you live compassionately.   It's the antidote to selfishness.  It's the demonstration of love.  And I know if a grizzly bear can be kind to a crow, that you, a child of God empowered by the Holy Spirit, can encourage...possibly even rescue...one of your fellow humans today. 

From Colossians 3:12-14

12 Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others. Don’t worry about making a good impression on them, but be ready to suffer quietly and patiently. 13 Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.14 Most of all, let love guide your life, for then the whole church will stay together in perfect harmony.

Return from a Non-Eternal Summer

Oh, my blogspot---how I've missed you!
It's been a summer full of foreign exchange students, VBS, two mini stay-cations, the summer reading program, the release of my book and playing with my kids.  It's been wonderful.  Happy.  Messy.  Fun.  Exhausting.  Yeah, all of those.

Thankfully, a well timed "Grammy Camp" has arrived.  One week.  I have one whole week without children to refuel my mind and body, to make my house look like a home again, and to start diving head first into writing book #2.

A week feels incredibly long today.  However, on Friday afternoon, I know I'll be wondering where all the time went.

I have so much more to say, but I have my list sitting next to me...begging for completion.  I hope to blog every day this week...just to get back into the habit. I miss this. It's part of who I am.

Post a comment and let me know how you've been!  I've missed you all!

Truth and Bravery

Over Memorial Day weekend, my family and I joined a group of wonderful people for a picnic.  While we were there, the topic of my phobia of animals came up.  I no longer hide behind my fear of rodents (specifically) and other animals.  In fact, sometimes I openly broadcast it, so as to avoid any incidents of me all but blacking out because of a chinchilla (true story!)  Anyways, as the banter continued about what animals would send me into a frenzy, one woman shared how she had to be the one who would capture the bats that would come into their home.  Her husband would tuck the covers all around himself in their bed, while she took a flyswatter to stun the bat and then release him back into the wild.

The entire time she was recounting her various escapades of bat conquering, I stared at her in amazement.  How did she do it?  How did she become so brave?  I felt like such a weak woman compared to her.  Honestly, I felt that all my fears that have paralyzed me for years made me feel incomplete.  I felt shame and I felt that my husband was shortchanged ending up with me as his wife.

Looking back at that reflection, I'm confronted by many truths.  First of all, I'm only judging myself.  I have no problem with that woman's husband being scared enough of bats that he wraps himself in a blanket.  I expect more of myself that I would ever expect of anyone else.  I'm not very kind to my sensitive spirit at times.  I've decided I'm going to work on that.

The other truth didn't hit me until just the other day.  I was explaining to an acquaintance about our summer schedule.  We are hosting back to back students---teenagers---from foreign countries.  When I share with her our summer plans, her eyes began to grow larger.  Her head shook back and forth, as if I was crazed and delusional.  And I recognized the open mouth stare---it was the stare I had given to the woman who was not afraid of bats.

The woman shaking her head at me was amazed that I would even considering doing such a thing.

The other truth I'm confronted with is that while full of trepidation in some areas, I'm fearless in others.  I know some people who struggle to even invite someone over for dinner---and here I am opening my home to people from foreign countries for weeks on end.  

I never realized that makes me brave.

But, it does.

I may not be able to see a rat without my heart racing, or touch a stray kitten...but I'm not afraid of putting my heart on the line and opening my home.  I am brave.  

And I'm not letting my fears define me anymore.  I'm learning to pet dogs, admire cats, and I even watched a chipmunk for a few minutes the other day---just because I knew it was good for me.  To top it off, I traveled to Wagon Trails park with Lydia's class the other day and I rode through herds of animals.  I did it bravely, happily---because I refuse to let my fears control me.

Here's some proof-----

The lesson behind all this is not for me to brag and tell you how I've conquered my fears.

No---the thing I want you to pull away is that God is working through me---even though I've limited myself for years.  He wants me---YOU---to enjoy life abundantly.  You do not have to live captive to your fears. 

I'm learning to let them go, step by step.  Each day, I wake up and I find myself challenging myself a little more.  I want YOU to experience that joy as well!

And I want you to remember, that no matter what you may be held back by...you probably have something in your life that other people think you are incredibly brave for too! 

This week has been a very encouraging one for me---and I hope that you will be encouraged as well!  

Good

God is so good.  I can not say that enough.  Seriously.
Despite the fact that I'm on day 12 of the never-ending cold---God is so good.
Even though my five year old is still crying when I drop her off at preschool---and it's almost the end of the year---God is so good.
God is so good---though my husband is working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and I miss his face like crazy most of the time.
For every problem I'm facing, every struggle that is perplexing me, and every hardship around the corner, I'm consistently reminded of the goodness of my loving Father.

And I'm finding those reminders in God's Word.

Last week, I needed energy---I needed hope---in the worst way.  My friend Tammy and I sat on my back deck (while people from the gas company were in my house detecting CO and trying to locate a gas leak...what fun....) and God gave me the most amazing verse to get me through the week.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."  (Isaiah 39:29)  HELLO!  AMAZING!!!  I give God's powerful word the credit for getting me through some tough times last week!  Hallelujah!

This week---and the weeks ahead---we face the unknown diagnosis of our five year old.  Test after test---and specialized doctors and traveling to a city nearly 80 miles away just for some answers.  But, I remember that  God's word tells me in Psalms 118:8
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."  And just a few verses before that---"In my anguish I cried to the Lord and he answered me by setting me free."  (v. 5)

God is good.  His Word is my strength.  I will call on God...I will cry to Him...and He will be our ultimate answer.  It's devastating not knowing what is going on with Lydia and it's worrisome not knowing if or when she will have another seizure---or what is causing them---but I trust God.  I know he will carry us through.

And I know this post sounds repetitive.  But, right now that is what my life is.  The same battles every day.  And the same answers each day too...God's word.

I'm not writing this to preach to you.  I'm writing this to remind me.  Because some days I wake up, and I think I have to do it all on my own.  But, I don't.  God's there.  His Word is ready to speak to me. and I just need to listen.  That is where I am today.  And I'm guessing since I'm feeling led to write this---that I'm not the only one.  I believe the answers we need are in the Bible.  What situations are you facing?  Do you believe that God's Word is powerful enough to help you get though?  I hope so friend!  Because God loves you, he cares deeply about what ails you, and the truth is waiting in that thick, often dust covered book.

THE EXCITING NEWS!!!

My exciting news is.....

MY BOOK IS GETTING PUBLISHED!!! 

 I've been working with a new company called Fulton Books and I'm so excited to tell you that within a couple months Transformed by Sarah Rose will be available for purchase! Both physical copies and Ebooks will be available.  

I've been in disbelief ever since the whole process started.  I can not express the gratitude I feel that they chose my book and how smoothly the process has gone.  God really seems to have smoothed this path for me and I'm completely grateful!  :)  I can't wait to feel the book in my hands and read it, remembering the hours of writing blitzes and getting to know my characters---even dreaming about them.

I thank God daily for Dusty and Lauren Roberts---who thought of me and my hard work and asked me to come along side them in this journey.  I also thank God for my writing group---Kristine, Betsy, and Jackie.  Without them, I would have never heard of NanoWriMo and I would never be living out a life long dream.  And I'm just so grateful for the support everyone has given me.  From my husband and my best friends to people who barely know me, the support has been phenomenal and encouraging.  I strongly believe that the success of this book is rooted in the fact that in November, while I was feverishly writing, every day I had at least one person committed to praying for me.  That made all the difference friends.  God heard your prayers and I'm so humbled that he is giving me this opportunity!  So, thank YOU for all YOU have done.  Because, while I love to write, I know the true power was in the prayers of my praying friends!!!!  HALLELUJAH!!!!

The Boardwalk

David and I walked, hand in hand, watching our two children run up ahead of us on the path made of wooden planks.  I have clear memories of watching Lydia and Micah run two years ago, down the same favorite path---and, oh, how did they grow so tall?  Where did Lydia's chubby toddler legs go?  And when did Micah become so capable, climbing trees skillfully?  I made sure to make a mental note of the way Lydia's braid bounced with her step and the way Micah noticed things that we would normally overlook.    As we walked along, David and I discussed deep matters of the heart, things related to God and our faith, matters we normally can't dive into at home.  When you are in the woods there are no phones, chores, or menus to pull you away.  It was just the four of us, surrounded by God's creation---and a man made bridge in the middle of the woods.
Last summer was so busy---too busy---that we never made it to our spot---not even once.  This year, I was determined not to make the same mistake twice, so we went yesterday---Easter Sunday for a sweet family walk.
The sense of gratitude I felt for that walk was so intense.  There's something about the "Boardwalk" as we call it, that makes me feel closer to the Lord.  When I'm stressed, I imagine what the end of the trail looks like, and I listen to the creek at the end babble over the rocks, even if only in my mind.  It's my favorite place to be on a Sunday afternoon.  I love nature---and without a ceiling pressing down on me, I feel like I can share my heart more clearly with God.  Yesterday, when we reached the end of the trail, we sat on some big logs and the four of us "popcorn prayed" and thanked God for hundreds of blessings.  Ah, there's nothing like praying out in the open, where it feels like your prayers get to Heaven faster.  And when we prayed yesterday, we didn't even ask God for anything, because when you are sitting with your beautiful family, in the middle of the woods---who needs anything else?  We just lifted up praises---our hearts were so grateful to our RISEN KING!

This was the sign that greeted us at the beginning of the trail.  I'll admit I was pretty jumpy on the trail at first. :)

See that black blob in the middle of the photo?  We were convinced that was a bear---or a gorilla---or maybe bigfoot! :)

ENOUGH!

Last night, I sat in my friend Beth's living room.  My leadership group from MOPS had met for a planning meeting.  As we studied 2 Corinthians 12:9 together, tears began rolling down my cheeks.  As hard as I fought to keep them in, they demanded an escape.  Because, sometimes you have to cry to cleanse your soul.  And, it became quite evident to me last night, and off and on the days before that, that I needed a cleansing.

More than that---I needed to believe that God loved me enough---despite my short comings---to still want to cleanse me.

Let me start with an email I had sent to my friend Sandy the other day....I keep struggling with the LIE that God loves me more the less I weigh.  Or that somehow the lower my weight the higher my level of spirituality or something.  I know those are lies, but they creep in and sabotage my heart.  Thank you for speaking truth to me.  

Sandy had sent me a beautiful excerpt from Made to Crave about how God loves me no matter what I weigh.  Her timing had been impeccable and the words she sent me soothed my tired spirit.  When I responded back to her, I realized that truthfully, I felt like I had to earn God's love by adhering to a strict eating plan or the more I exercised, God would become more proud of me.  When I responded to her, I realized that I was toeing the line of living a life of phony self righteousness and not a life filled with beautiful grace.

Because life has been so hectic with Lydia's concussion and testing, I had not had a lot of time to sit down and ponder that.  So last night when we sat down to study the verse in 2 Corinthians that says in our weakness Christ is shown strong and how his grace and favor is all we need---it's enough, my heart was stirred.  

Should I strive to obey God and his calling to healthy eating in my life?  Absolutely!  It's God's best for me.  That's the very best thing about life on earth---living sacrificially to demonstrate our respect for God.  But, I realized that somehow in my mind the wires had gotten crossed.  I was making my obedience to God the basis of His love for me.  And that, my friends, is a LIE!  

God loves me whether I eat a stack of bacon and pancakes for breakfast, a hamburger for lunch, and an entire pizza for dinner.  God loves me when I eat an egg white omelette in the morning, a salad at noon, and grilled chicken for dinner.  He LOVES me no matter what. 

And despite how I feel, God's grace isn't going to dry up.  I often feel as I ask for forgiveness that God will say, "Well, Sarah Rose, you have used up your last chance.  No more grace for you."  I'M SO GLAD I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT HAPPENING.  God's word tells me his grace is enough---it's sufficient.  It's abundant.  And while I would never want to abuse that grace, I can rest assured that it's waiting for me when I need it.

And here's the great part.  The grace, forgiveness and acceptance that I've been writing about is waiting for YOU too.  God has so much grace that He's waiting to pour out on you.  He wants the BEST for your life too!  What kind of friend would I be if I didn't share that this grace is for YOU TOO!!!  

On a final note, I want to thank YOU---my readers---You all have been so supportive with my admission of my scale woes.  In fact, the grace that was demonstrated from my readers was earthly proof of the grace of God.  It's been amazing and freeing to be honest about what happened in January.  Since I wrote about that, my weight has dropped down to 313.  Apparently, sometimes, holding on to an emotional weight like that can literally add pounds on in real life.  But I know, that God's love for me did not grow just because the scale dropped six pounds.  No, he already loved me the most he could!

In conclusion, I pray that you will ask God to show you just how abundant his grace is---and how it's all you and I need.  His grace is enough.