Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Back to School---My reality

Today, it is so quiet in my house that I can actually hear words tumbling in my brain.  It's kind of freaking me out.
Back to school day brings out so many emotions.
Happiness, well, because, as mentioned before I can hear the thoughts in my mind.  Excitement because of all the new friends to be made, concepts to master, and new things to experience.
Yet, I have a few things to admit.
I feel guilty this year, too.  Because of my job, because of money (i.e. gas money...I get that we are less than a mile from the school...but starting my car and shutting it off at least six times a day for school runs really wears on my car and my gas mileage) and yes, because of convenience, I put my kids on a bus this morning.  I know my children will only be on the bus for approx six minutes each way, but that adds up to an hour every 5 day week.  What words will they hear in those six minutes?  What things will they see?  Will they be made fun of?  Will they make fun of someone else?  
School is one thing, but the bus, it just seems like a cruel, hard world.  And, I'm the one who spent the summer making phone calls and sending emails to make it happen.  (Dear Lord, please, remind me that millions of kids ride a bus every single day, and they are not hardened criminals by the end of fourth grade....)
I also have a feeling I'm the only parent who is sending their kids with last years' backpacks and lunch boxes, non-new underwear, and a wardrobe whose only fresh items have come from fabulous handmedowns. (Thanks Aunt Robin!!!)  It's not that I couldn't have bought my kids a new wardrobe.  I had a little bit of extra cash from end of summer babysitting jobs, but really, I couldn't justify buying clothes with it, when my family likes to eat and see in the dark! (Yeah, I could have used my credit card...but that's for EMERGENCIES...and Back to School, contrary to popular belief, is NOT an emergency) If I don't want my kids to be spoiled, I am the one who has to control the buying of things.  Even Lydia's sparkly binder was a passed down VBS binder from the Shine curriculum.  I did buy a whole new crayola set for approximately $2.83 during Wal-Mart's super cheap school supply sale, so I should get a bonus point or two for that.
I also am sending them into the great unknown without having met their teachers.  Like, one I have seen in the hall, but I can't remember what she looks like...and the other just came from another school and I really have no clue who she is. This also is a first for me.  I did email one of the teachers, so does that count?
*Sigh*  Parenting.  Whatever.  Can I just say I must prefer to be the mom of KIDS instead of STUDENTS.  I miss summer already.  Optional bathing, fun reading, and no stressing over vowel sounds, IEP's, or multiplication.
So basically, here, back to school was "Put on your old clothes, let me throw you on a giant bus with swearing kids, and let them ship you to people I don't know" day.  
Yeah, I'm awesome.
And, even though that may sound sarcastic, I'm not really being sarcastic.  I think I'm revisiting what life was like for parents maybe thirty or forty years ago.  And you know what?  I'm not stressed out.  I'm not broke.  And, besides learning some swear words on the bus, I think my kids are going to be okay. (But, let's just pray that none of the kids on the bus even know bad words, kay?) 
I prayed over them at breakfast this morning, reminded them they are to be a light to a world that needs love, and sent them out boldly..with a lot of emotions...but boldy still.
And to top it all off, I get a chance to drink coffee uninterrupted, and write a blog.  So, bam.  Today rocks.  And we are all going to be just fine.