Thursday, April 14, 2016
Bruce Attacks! The Top Ten List!
We love him.
We think he's adorable.
And we think no other cat on the face of the earth compares to him.
And that is a good thing. Especially when I consider the following list...
The top 10 places that Bruce will attack
1. When you bathe him. He has only been bathed twice. He came from a barn. He smelled like barn. It took some time to "unbarnsmell" him. That second bath was a near death experience for us both. Forget it cat, bathe yourself...
2. When we are traveling on the staircase. Bruce enjoys tackling our hands that are on the banister as we ascend or descend the stairs. Sometimes, he's really obvious about it. Other times, it's a sneak attack that almost makes one faceplant on the steps!
3. His current favorite: While I'm writing. One minute I'm typing furiously. The next, I'm screaming because there are cat claws digging into my back. Uncool, Bruce. So uncool.
4. Occasionally the crazy kitten will make a leap attack while one of us is bent over. Many times, he does this while I'm tying my shoes. I believe it is his revenge for being left at home alone.
5. This one...well, it's a little uncomfortable to write about...but it's necessary. The cat attacks every time I make my way to the potty. *SIGH* Sometimes he'll run and attack my feet as I enter the room, other times he'll wait until I'm sitting, and the next thing I know, his kitty claws are deep into my now-bare leg.
6. This next one is very similar to the last one, except there is an element of surprise. So, Bruce has decided he LOVES to sleep in the bathtub. I just don't get it, but whatever. Anyways, he'll be asleep in the bathtub, and when I use the upstairs toilet, apparently he's a little irritated about me interrupting his catnap. So, without ANY warning, the cat will spring from behind the shower curtain, and once again, I end up with kitty claws in my now-bare leg.
7. Bruce has an attack I call the "David Special." The cat stealthily places himself under our bed, peers underneath the dust ruffle and will attack feet, primarily David's, as foot traffic passes.
8. Because actually doing the dishes is not torture enough, the insane feline will climb up my legs as I clean up after dinner.
9. That reminds me...the cat also climbs up my leg WHILE I'm cooking dinner.
10. And my favorite "when Bruce attacks" time is when I'm holding him like a baby and he playfully wraps his whole little body around my hand. He's so playful. Yeah, his nails and teeth are sharp, but I just loves when he does this. I know just the spot on his belly to touch that he will attack instantly.
So, yeah, this list reminds me of an article I read online recently how basically cats are mini-lions and if they were bigger they would eat you. (Then, to calm my anxiety, I read another article that says that one is scientifically inaccurate.) But, really, this list is just half the fun of owning a kitty.
Over the past few days that I have been feeling so sick, and there's nothing like Bruce climbing on my lap and purring to calm me down. I love how he stretches out when he wakes up from a sunshine nap and how he chases his own tail. He's funny. He's loving. He's kind of a butthead sometimes, but he's 100 percent part of our family. And, it's amazing that a girl who was so scared of animals just a few years ago, now allows a cat to share her home!
Being a pet owner has been one of the best things in the world for me. And I'm so grateful for this little beast that attacks me so often!