Word on the street is "the letter is in the mail."
I interviewed my little heart out last Thursday for a job that I *thought* was destined to be mine. I waited a few days and I had heard nothing---so, I did what all the websites and job interview experts tell you to do. I made a follow up phone call.
In my cheeriest voice, I announced my name, my interview date, and the reason I was calling. "I was really interested in the job. Did you have any other questions for me, or have you already filled the position?"
There was a brief pause and a moment of awkwardness. And, then, she laid the truth all out there. "We have already filled the position. We sent you a letter in the mail."
So, I guess tomorrow, or maybe the next day I can be reminded of my failure too.
Okay, that last sentence sounded so dark, but I'm kind of feeling that way right now. The rejection stings right now. It really does. I am questioning what about me wasn't good enough for that position. I am tempted to call myself inadequate and undeserving. The word 'loser' has tossed itself around my mind a few times too. It's hard not to take a job rejection personally.
But, on the flip side, I'm actually really grateful as well. Interviewing is an incredibly vulnerable thing to do, and even though I struggle with fear, anxiety and 'putting myself out there,' I did it. I spent time focusing on my good qualities and how those attributes would benefit a work environment. I was brave. I focused on the future. I worked beyond my anxiety and insecurities, and I took steps towards a rewarding future for myself.
I really do think that some day I will make an awesome receptionist or customer service representative. Until then, I will keep being the best Jesus follower, wife, mom, daughter, writer, VBS director, babysitter, neighbor, friend, and person I can be. And, I'll try focusing on the positives until this fresh sting dies down a bit.