I've started writing two other blog posts that I was never able to finish this week...but, to sum up what they said...BOOTCAMP IS NOT FOR WIMPS. Unfortunately, I think I may fall under the wimp category.
I thought I was ready for this. I am used to being self controlled, active, and disciplined. But, as the name implies, BOOTCAMP is HARD! Way harder than I imagined it to be. I just want my coach to be proud of me, but it seems every day I make one or two mistakes, and I miss out on the goal that she wants for me. I feel like BOOTCAMP sets me up for this incredibly hard line of perfection that I do not reach very often when it comes to my eating. It's difficult to stay positive when you feel like you are failing, even if you are failing only by not reaching perfection. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else, but it does to me. (It actually reminds me of the Old Jewish law, and how it reminds us of our need for Christ, because we can not be perfect on our own.)
Really, if you, or anyone else besides my accountability coach looked at my diet, you would think I'm a rockstar. I'm eating almost all veggies, with a serving or two (depends on the day) of carbs, and a decent amount of protein. It's a healthy diet, and its a good things I like vegetables. One day, I ate so many vegetables, I thought my brain and my belly were going to strike up in a revolution. The thing that gets me is that my "oopsies" are always little. Like a bite of dry stuffing mix (I really wanted bread! lol) or a spoonful of lasagna filling I made for my family. It's not like I'm downing a Reese's cup or anything...but, the plan is the plan, and I really struggle sticking to this plan.
The good news? The diet has helped curb any real cravings for sweets or chocolate. However, this diet has not conquered the mental connection. Last night, all I could think about it how I wanted a campfire and a s'more. Normally, on my diet, that would be allowed. I would work it in my calories, and indulge in one. Not during BOOTCAMP. Is it a veggie? Chicken? Fish? Occasional fruit? NO??? NOT EATING IT!!!
Oh yeah, let me tell you about BOOTCAMP workouts. Normally, I love to workout. I crave it. It makes me smile. These workouts not only make my fat cells cry, I'm usually in tears too. I have no idea how I'm supposed to get my 330 pound body to do "bodybuilders" or "mountain climbers." I just chug along doing the best I can. At least I can survive a 60 minute workout now.
Oh, and did I mention, I have a sinus infection to go along with all of this fun. So, my head feels as if it is filled with concrete, and that it has expanded a foot or two!
So, to say the least, it's been a hard week. I'm deeply grateful for the opportunity of BOOTCAMP. I know it's a blessing, and its a great way to boost my weight loss. But, I have to say I'm literally counting the workouts and days left. 9 more bootcamp classes, and 21 more days. :)
My friend Sheila has committed to boosting her workouts in support of me, and I really really appreciate that. It's helped knowing that someone else is out there pushing their limit too!
Next Sunday, I will be able to report my two week measurements. And, I am planning on being able to say I'm stronger, and more mentally stable, because let me tell you, this last week almost did me in.
I'm also planning on finding a way to spend more time in the word. I forget time and time again about how much strength I draw from God's word. I am planning on doing the Made to Crave devotional every day this week too. Both of those will probably make a huge difference in my success!
Thank you for cheering me on, for asking about bootcamp, for sneaking peaks at my plate and for praying for me. I appreciate my team! Love you all!