I'm in a very contemplative mood today. I don't think I've stopped thinking for the last couple weeks. Words like RIGHTS, FREEDOM, BLESSINGS, DESERVING, POVERTY and many others have been rolling through my head.
I talked about it a little bit in my last blog. Freedom isn't really what we think it is. True freedom is loving to do what is right!
I want to address a topic very carefully here. RIGHTS. My generation especially is all about demanding rights. Now don't get me wrong, I do not think a person should be mistreated. I do not think that because of someone's skin color they should get paid less, or that a woman should be beaten for not being respectful. Please do not misunderstand me.
But, rights, most of what we consider rights, are not "rights." They are blessings people. We think we have the right to come home to the house we've worked hard to get the mortgage for. We think we have the right to eat (and then throw away) large amounts of food. I, as a mom, think I've earned the "right" to some alone time every now and then. No, folks...those are not rights. They are blessings. I'm calling it like I see it from now on.
I am begging God to transform my thinking. Over the next four weeks, due to bootcamp, I'm giving up my blessing to eat what I want, when I want. I'm trading up the blessing of sleeping in until the last minute for the "blessing" of working out. (Maybe someday I'll be able to take the quotation marks off that blessing! hahaha!) I'm giving up a lot. But, I must transform my thinking. I'm not giving up rights. I'm giving up blessings.
But when did we, friends, become so self-enamored that we began to think we deserve these things? This shocked me when I realized how much I thought I deserve...
One of my favorite chapters in the Bible is Philippians 2. It talks about Jesus, gave up his RIGHTS as the Son of God. He left Heaven to serve us. He gave up everything.
I'm seeing this whole new side of living that I want to pursue. It's a radical side of living. Where I give away more than I consume. Where I am willing to give away prized possessions and the coat off my back. I want to meet needs. I want to cheer weary souls. I want people to turn to Jesus.
This is part of my "WHY" for this bootcamp. I can't accomplish these things with very much effectiveness at 330 pounds. I'm tired. I can't fly in a plane. And there's no homeless people my size out there for me to give my clothes to. I consume so much food on my own in one day that I often wonder how many people could eat on the money I waste on restaurants, pizza, or the occasional ice cream cone.
It sounds radical even to me...but I can't help but wonder what is on the other side of consumerism. The other side of demanding what I think I deserve. Do I have a chance to raise children that are not entirely self absorbed with personal gratification? Do I have moments ahead of me to live like the real Jesus would have? Healing, meeting needs, living prayerfully and intentionally. I HOPE SO!!!
Please pray for me. I feel like God is stirring my soul in a brand new way lately. I want to see success at boot camp and get ready to serve God in a whole new way. Giving up my blessings, forgetting about what I think are rights, and loving him with my HEART, SOUL, BODY, and MIND!