To be quite honest, for years, I thought that I was as "single layer" as you get. I was (and still am!) a mostly happy, bubbly, talkative people-lover. That part has not changed one bit. However, as God has called me deeper into motherhood, deeper into my faith, and now has instilled a passion in my heart for writing, I'm discovering a new layer of myself.
I'm a secret introvert.
I definitely have extroverted qualities. And I love the extroverted lifestyle.
But, for me to recharge, to feel whole, and to feel "me" I have to have time alone.
Many times what you read is a product of that alone time. And, if you have noticed, there has not been much writing production on my blog this summer.
The simple fact is that I'm almost never alone.
David's been working LONG, LONG hours, which leave him exhausted, and me as the sole parental unit for 90% of the summer days. I babysit for a living during the summer. I have four kids (my two included in this) which I never let out of my sight, and most of the time are within touching distance of me. I answer more, "Mom, how come?" questions than I ever even knew existed. Even my nighttime rest has been interrupted with nightmares, or sore tummies, or an exhausted husbands snores.
So, a girl like me has to find a way to recharge. That's why, during the summer, I'm a Sunday School Skipper. Every Sunday morning, I get up. I get to church and worship the Lord happily. I take notes, I get excited how to apply the Scriptures to my life. After the service, I visit with my church friends. The smiles warm my heart. The hugs and prayers soothe my soul. Then, I drop Micah and Lydia off at Sunday School. But, after that, the shameful part comes. Next, I slip out of that church as quickly as I can. I leave the remaining Humes Family members to be immersed in more Christian Education...and I sneak home. It's literally the only hour a week I get to myself during the summer.
It's a hard trade off. I love studying at Sunday School. I love visiting with other church members before and after class. But, I can not tell you how good this feels. I hear birds and a cricket chirping. I have a beautiful worship CD on, that is turned on just loud enough to hear it. I can hear the keys of the keyboard clicking as I type. And I'm alone. With my thoughts. With the Word of God. With my cup of milk and a slice of banana bread. A chance to sit quiet and let the Holy Spirit fill me before I start all over again this week.
During the school year, I have more of a schedule, and more regular alone time, and I've thoroughly enjoyed the things I've been studying in my Sunday School class. But, right now, I can't stop praising God that I live almost next door to my church, and I can quietly sneak away and be refreshed...even if it's only for one hour a week. It reinforces to me the Father really cares about his children! I love being a cherished daughter of the King...the King of the Universe who isn't surprised at all by my newly found desire to hide away in His presence alone.