Thursday, September 12, 2013
This picture showed me at my heaviest. 360 pounds. I look at this picture and shame still lingers. Not even so much because of what I weighed but because of who I was then. I was a person and a mom that I didn't like very much. Looking back, I was rather lazy. I rarely cooked dinner, I would only brush my hair when going places, I slept more than I was awake. It was next to impossible for me to play with Micah at that point (he was one when I took this picture). That summer was a low point in my life. I was starting to isolate myself. This picture proves it. The only reason I was outside that particular August evening is because David asked me to walk with him. I changed into my jeans, yet there I am, still wearing my green pajama shirt. I have no idea why in the world I would have let a camera in David's hands that day, but there I am...pajama shirt and all. This was a week before my weight loss journey started. I was miserable. Depressed. Imprisioned.
I was about to be set free!
Here it is 6 years later. I weigh 312.8 as of this morning. The weight does not come off easy for me, but I've been persistent. If I stop trying, it's not for long. I play with my kids. I smile. And most days I change out of my pajamas! I cook dinner for my family---and sometimes even for other people! I'm no longer ashamed of the junk I eat, because I'm feeding myself nutritious, delicious food. I'm making a difference in the world by volunteering with MOPS and at my church, and I'm no longer isolating myself, rather I'm opening a window into my world by allowing friendships to blossom and my story to be read on my blog.
I refuse to give up. I will never stop fighting. I will see my success, no matter how slow, as victory. I will praise God for standing next to me each step of the way. I will thank Him for all the friends and support He has showered me with. I will live as a living sacrifice, learning to treat my body the way God intended for me to treat it...with care and respect.
And that's really all I wanted to say about that today! :0)