Taylor Swift has a new song out. "22" is what it's called. It's a catchy little tune. It's cute. But, it bothered me. It gave me what I call a "soul itch."
I have to admit, I'm a Taylor Junkie! I love how she expresses what's in her heart through music, just like I do here on my blog. I know Taylor goes through boys faster than I go through a bag of skittles...and I know Taylor can be "flighty" but she's genuine. And people either love her or hate her because of that authenticity, and I happen to be a lover! Normally. However, this song it just glorifies temporal, self-seeking, and shallow attitudes that fill our world.
If you are on my Facebook page, you know today is the 8 year anniversary of my sister's death. And, the gray sky just seems to fit my mood. Each year I handle this day differently, but this year is darker than I have ever felt before. I think a lot of my darkness centers around the losses we've endured this year. But, even more so is the thought that Lisa is missing so much.
Lisa was only 20 when she died. I was only 21 when it happened. I know she's in Heaven and experiences Glory at its fullest, but man alive, is it hard experiencing every change without her. Lydia's fourth birthday came just two days ago and it was a reminder that even though it feels like Lydia's always been here, Lisa was never here at the same time as Lydia. Lisa was gone before Micah was around too. Sadly enough, she wasn't even here to be my bridesmaid and to watch me become Mrs. Humes. Even more heartbreaking is the fact that she never got to experience these things in her own life.
So, then there's Ms. Swift. She's be-bopping her cute little ditty about being 22 and "living it up" and "just doing what feels good." Lisa never did that either.
Unlike the "hipsters" (T's words, not mine!) in Taylor's song, Lisa didn't long to fall in love with strangers or party all night. Her life was not all about self-centered living. Rather, she sacrificed much of her younger years to pouring bushels of love into our cousin Josh's life. She gave up spending time with friends to be with him. She spent money buying Josh Christmas presents that could have been spent on herself. She shared her faith and her love with him and invested her life in him. The thought of her still makes me so proud. She also was committed to caring for the residents at Crawford County Care Center. She even won employee of the month one time. The loss of Lisa was so great to the Care Center they even planted a garden there shortly after she died.
Anyways, to wrap up my thoughts about that song...it makes me sad. Not for Lisa. Not even for me. But, for all the people out there who are still living like they are 22. Whether they are 18 or 87, if they are still seeking the world's sense of love without truly understanding what Lisa did...that real life is about sacrificial living. She was only 20 when she died, but she loved more than most do in an entire long lifetime while she was here.
I commit every year on this day to remember the things she taught me. One great life lesson is that taking care of myself, no matter how hard I have to fight or how long it takes is completely worth it. It's worth not missing those little moments in my husbands life...in my childrens' lives...my parents' lives ...my friends' lives. I don't want to miss one moment that I should be here for. Another thing I apply in my thought life almost daily is that sacrificial living and love matter, even years after you are gone. She truly helps me love deeper and experience live richer even though she's been gone for eight years now. Lisa will always be remembered for her beautiful contributions to this world.