How Numbers Changed My Life

Sometimes, God has a surprise in store for you.  A little piece of treasure that will excite you to your core.  But, most of the time you do not anticipate finding that treasure on a MONDAY!!!  And, I don't know about you, but I definitely never imagined I would find a life changing treasure hidden in the book of Numbers in the Old Testament of the Bible!  Now, do not misunderstand me...when I read the Bible, I always am expecting to learn something new to apply to my life, but most of the time the biblical treasure I find are tucked away in the words of Jesus, or in 1 John, or somewhere in the Psalms...but Numbers?  That just has never struck me as a life changing book!


However, if you would have been at my dinner table yesterday, you would have thought I was a crazy woman!  I was clapping!  Yelling! Celebrating!  Rejoicing!  All over an Old Testament tidbit.  It came from a story I have heard from VBS many years ago, but I never remembered reading it in the Bible myself.


In Numbers 14 the scene is a nation of Isrealites who had been freed from Egyptian captivity, and were on the brink of entering the promised land.  However, due to terrifying reports of larger than life natives, most of the nation began throwing a fit, stating it was better just to return to Egypt, instead of inheriting God's land that he had promised them.  But, there was a particular man that had an attitude of obedience and he stood out to God..and he definitely impressed me!


His name: Caleb.  Caleb was not afraid of the obstacles...he was more interested in the blessing.  Caleb tried encouraging the Israelites to realize how exceedingly good God's blessing was, even to the point where the others were ready to stone him.  He was faithful.  Loyal.  Strong.  Brave.  Listen to what God had to say about him...


"But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to [the promised land], and his descendants will inherit it.  Numbers 14:24


THIS IS MY NEW LIFE VERSE!  I want God to be able to say that I have a different spirit!  I want God to be able to claim a wholehearted devotion from me.  I want to bring blessings to myself and my descendants because of how I choose to believe the Word of the Lord.


This different spirit and wholehearted devotion that I am seeking...I want it to shine through me at all times.  Whether I'm 360 pounds, 299 pounds, or some unthinkable day, 120 pounds!  I want it to be displayed whether I am having a good day or a bad day, whether my kids are obedient or having a stubborn kind of day, whether my husband and I are in marital bliss or discord.  Whether I am at work, church, on vacation, or just hanging out with friends...I really want something "different" to show up concerning me, no matter the situation.


One of the other things that stood out to me is that FEAR seemed to be the key ingredient holding the rest of the gang back, and Caleb seemed to let go of his fear and focus on the fact that God had everything under control.  If you remember the title of one of my last blog posts was indeed FEAR!  God's timing is amazing!  He knew just what I needed to read.  Some day, I want God to say, "Sarah, you kind of reminded me of Caleb in that situation.  I'm proud of you kiddo!"  And I will respond by saying, "Thank you God.  Thank you for changing my heart on that Monday in March...all while reading in the book of Numbers!"

FINALLY!

2 lbs!  FINALLY!  It took me 24 days to lose that 2 lbs.  I'm so excited about that victory.

Meals planned.  Thoroughly.  FINALLY!  I have been neglecting this daily discipline...and I'm ready to make it a priority again.

My pink sweatshirt fits!  Amazingly well!  FINALLY!  I felt so cute and small (for a fat girl!) today when I put it on.  I bought it in August while I was in Nashville and I can FINALLY wear it!

It's been a rough 3 weeks and few days.  I was beginning to feel like I may never lose another pound since I started this blog.  But, this weekend was somewhat of a personal, spiritual turning point for me, and I realized that I had not been as diligent as I was beforehand in following the menu plan God led me to for lent.  I also had not been tracking calories with as much fervor, nor had I been planning my meals in advance, which always helped me succeed.  I had also been "cheating" on my diet...and quite a bit. *hanging my head in embarrassment*

So, I am using today's little successes as a springboard for the rest of this week.  I'm kind of low on grocery money (don't feel bad for me...I knew I was using grocery money for a recent purchase that I didn't *have to have*), so I'm going to be practicing creative obedience!  I'm planning on spending all kinds of time in God's word.  I'm going to be memorizing these four verses (1 John 4:4, Rev 12:11, James 4:7, 1 John 5:5) that I have been putting off...FINALLY!  I plan on walking at least a little every single day.  Today, I'm doing things that are good for me...spiritually, physically, emotionally!!!

But, after having said all those things, I have to share that I am feeling a little weak this morning.  If I didn't have that springboard of success this morning, I probably would not be able to move forward.  That's why I think it is so important to claim victory whenever we have the chance.  It gives us strength.  Right now, I need all the strength I can get, and even moving my fingers to type or moving my lips to praise the Lord seems like so much work on a Monday morning, when my baby girl is whiny (not much new there!) and the sky is a bit cloudy and I have a full day of housework (at two homes) ahead of me.  I think that is why the Psalms talk so often about God being our strength.  Our provider.  Our portion.  Our Father.  Our encouragement.  

I can move forward with my day knowing that God will supply me everything I need, that he gives me victories at just the right moments, and that because of all those things, I can move forward with my goals...and FINALLY succeed!

FEAR

This morning I'm raw.  I'm hurting.  The pain is so intense.  I can not even keep the tears from falling.  It's all because of a girl dying.  A girl I barely even knew.  I knew of her.  Everyone in my school knew of her.  Everyone in my school knew of me too.  Why?  Because in high school, when you are morbidly obese, everyone knows your name.  Even though this girl, whose name was Sylvania, was five years older than me, I was called by her name all the time.  It's sad, but sometimes your classmates and teachers do not remember names.  They remember you are fat.  I never even had a conversation with her, but we were connected, by the only thing in my life that has been the constant thing that has made me unhappy (and I'm guessing her too)...the fat covering up the real me.


Now, I do not know the cause of death for Sylvania.  I do know, that based on her size (and mine), there is a very real chance that is was caused by her obesity.  Folks...this is REAL FEAR for me.  More real than most.  Because, not only did a girl named Sylvania, who I only know to see, die, but because my sister died from obesity too.  I have not really covered it too much on my blog yet, because the anniversary of my sister's death was 10 days ago.  I'm so emotionally raw.   


7 years ago, on a Sunday afternoon, around 2pm my sister took her last breath.  She was 20 years old.  And do you know what the cause of death on her death certificate is?  Myocardial infarction.  A heart attack.  My 20 year old sister died of a heart attack.  Let that sink in. My first friend.  My DNA buddy.  My lifelong roommate.  We ate the same foods.  We did the same activities.  We laughed and cried at similar situations.  We were often mistaken for twins.  We were called by each others names all the  time too.  We were only 14 months apart.  And she died.  From a HEART ATTACK.  Something that is supposed to only happen to 75 year old men.  


Do you see why this battle is so overwhelming for me?  I sit here at 335 pounds.  I've been at this weight far too long.  As Lysa Terkeurst would say, "I've circled this mountain long enough."  I'm ready to move forward and fast.  Because, the last thing I want is my name in the obituaries with an age that is far to young. 


I have spent way to many years fearing death.  I need to gain some proper perspective on it.  I need to mix my fear of death up with some faith.  Some hope.  Some truth from God's word.  I need to remember that as a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, that death is "to gain."  Because, if I die, I will be going to Heaven.  In Psalm 23:4 it says "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me."  My pastors recently pointed out that it says the "SHADOW" of the valley of death.  Shadows can be really scary, but they can not hurt you.  I will only be in death's shadow, because what is really waiting for me is eternal life!  I need to remember that!!!!


I'm so tired of this fear holding me back.  My fear has kept me living in anxiety.  Anxiety has kept me from being productive on my weight loss, causing me to often 'eat my emotions.'  As a result, I have only gotten heavier and less healthy, when my goals were the exact opposite.  


On Sunday, I am beginning a new Bible Study series called, "An Untroubled Heart."  I'm not sure that I'm ready, but I've diving in anyways.  These fears are REAL.  They are not something I imagined.  I could die right now because of my obesity.  And if I don't continue to move forward and change, I will die way too young.  And as much as I want to be in Heaven someday, I have a lot of work to do.


I have my babies to raise, and my husband to love.  I have countless people to share Jesus with.  I have at least two or three books in my soul that are waiting to be written. I have the mountains of Colorado to visit.  I have a church to serve.  A world to love on.  I have work to do.  And I can not move forward until I dealt with these fears.


So, will you please join me in praying today?  For Sylvania's family as they mourn the loss of her, whatever that loss may have been caused by.  Will you pray for me, please?  That studying "An Untroubled Heart" will grow me?  That I can remain dedicated to my eating and fitness plan?  That I can conquer this and be healthy?  That I can learn to work through my emotions instead of allowing them to control me?  That I can live a long and healthy life, that includes serving the Lord to the fullest.  That I can let go of my fear of failure and death and find a way to really LIVE.


As always, thank you for reading.  The support and love you offer keeps me going when I feel I have no more fight left in me.

Jill's Guest Post

As I have embarked farther on this journey, I have received many emails, words of wisdom, advice, and questions.  But, last night I read a "journal entry" or a "blog" that spoke to my  heart in beautiful ways.  So, it is with great respect and love that I want to share with you my very first "guest blog post."  I asked Jill if I could share her words with you.  They are insightful.  They are helpful.  And they are true.  I trust that you will relate and be encouraged by them, just as I was!

“So, how’d you do it? ”   Everyone on a weight loss journey ought to prepare themselves to be able to answer this question in 10 words or less.  And be prepared that *some* people DON’T want to hear ANYthing to do with hard work or sacrifice or deprivation…those are the kind of people who are looking for a “magic pill”  or at the very least, a foolproof “formula” guaranteed to bring FAST results.

Hey, I of all people *get this* totally- *I* was one of them not that long ago.

If I asked someone who’d lost weight how’d they’d done it, and they said it took them over a year to accomplish their goal, I’d have scoffed and replied, “Pah, that’s too much work…..”  So, beginning with THAT mindset, it is MY intention to reach out to that audience.  Because I KNOW where you’re coming from…and all I can say is what was said to me…and it impacted me:  DOING NOTHING won’t change anything either.  And it IS a mountain, but it can be moved….one shovelful at a time.  I didn’t get this way overnight and I won’t Undo it overnight either.  And NOT caring about my health…and NOT paying any attention to WHAT I was putting IN my mouth…the most effective way to Undo that HABIT, is to COUNTERACT it the same way…START caring,  START paying attention.

For me, the VERY first step was going to the LORD about it.  I’ve tried this MANY times before, and *seemed* to succeed ( in the past, I DID lose weight) but I only gained victory on the outside, NEVER on the inside-  so the “success” was short-lived.  I never dealt with the REAL deep-seeded issues- of WHY I binged, WHY I turned to FOOD when I was dealing with emotional issues.  Not surprising I’m sure- the weight came back on…and then some.

In all honesty, I didn’t even WANT to START this journey.  Well, I wanted to lose weight- SURE, who doesn’t?  I stood in front of the mirror OFTEN, and despised what I’d done to myself.  I was convinced that if I could lose weight and *look* better, I’d like myself more.  The *sad* thing is, every attempt- and subsequent failure- just made me despise myself even MORE…it was a vicious, never-seeming-to-end cycle….resulting in yet another binge of mindless eating of whatever appealed to me at the time.  It was my *punishment* of myself for having NO *willpower*, and for having such apathy towards myself.  FOOD, which I turned to for some odd type of *comfort* was also my worst enemy, my worst critic, my deepest shame, my biggest secret, my private hell, the ultimate bondage…because the human body cannot be sustained withOUT FOOD…how do you “escape” this kind of bondage?

I’d LOVE to tell you I have ALL the answers…Oh brother…I’m sorry…I feel like I should have a sign tattooed across my forehead- just do the OPPOSITE of what I do, and you’ll be fine.  

I don’t have all the answers.  At the end of my weight loss goal, I feel like I have more QUESTIONS than answers myself.   I’ve learned much, and the more I learn, the LESS I think I KNOW anymore.  I don’t know SQUAT.

I want to ENcourage others, but I feel like such a failure myself…I feel like UNTIL I get this whole thing down pat, and don’t stumble and fail, ONLY then can I give any *advice* worth listening to- every failure, every transgression just affirms to me that I am mocking the name of the Lord I claim to serve…for in essence, I *feel* like my testimony only PROVES to others who already MOCK HIM, that the God I serve is a puny little god, and the power of the Twinkie is stronger than the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY, maker of heaven and earth.   I am better off keeping my mouth shut, and NOT bringing HIS name into my quest…because it seems like my failures bring Him shame.

Except here’s the thing…these are all things I *feel*, things I *think* every time I fail to do the right thing, the things that flood my heart and mind every time I stumble and fall, and give into temptation(s)…NONE of these thoughts are coming from the heart of my Savior, Jesus Christ.            These accusations and condemnations and words of discouragement, shame and despair are lies of the enemy to destroy me, to stop me, and to bring me back into bondage from which HE paid to set me free.

HE has promised…with every step of obedience He offers GRACE.   With every transgression- when I confess my sin- and come to HIM for restoration, that HE is faithful not only to FORGIVE, but to cleanse me from ALL unrighteousness.

It isn’t a matter of whether or not I ever screw it all up- it’s a guarantee that I will INDEED stumble and fall- but WHAT do I do…WHEN ( not IF, WHEN)  I do???

Do I run for cover, and hide from Him?

Or do I go running TO HIM, crying, saying, “FATHER, I don’t WANT to keep doing this. I NEED YOU.  I NEED YOUR GRACE, I seek Your mercy.”

The  greatest lesson I’ve learned out of this entire journey:  I can’t trust my *feelings*….those are what got me into this predicament in the FIRST place.  I NEED to live on a deeper, more constant plane than my temporal *feelings*  (which can CHANGE in a split second)…  The ONLY constant in MY life is the LORD- who doesn’t change.  HE can be trusted. HE is faithFUL even when I am completely faithLESS.

Which is why, no matter where I am in this journey…UP or DOWN- I walk with HIM…and I seek to do it all FOR HIS GLORY…and when I fall flat on my face, I STILL choose to get back UP and walk towards HIM,  taking HIS hand, seeking to have HIM lead me, guide me, and be my strength.

And, after almost a year on this journey- looking back- in retrospect-

Has it been *worth it?*   Or, if there were such a thing as this “magic pill” or fool proof formula-

Given a choice, which would I choose?  Yep, that *easier way out* still could be tempting.

But I’m glad I didn’t find an empty promise. 

I’m grateful I took the  LONGER, HARDER path…what I’ve learned about HIM and how I’ve grown deeper in love with HIM because HE has walked beside me in the deepest, darkest area of my life thus far….

And I’d have missed it.   NOTHING can ever take this part of my life away- I will never believe that lie ever again that HE doesn’t care about the things that hurt me the deepest….HE has shown it in ways I can NEVER fully explain because I haven’t even fully comprehended it myself.

All I know is I want to share this with the people I love…I want to see them experience this type of freedom, to know this SAVIOR, to walk with HIM…because what’s He’s done for me is special but I am not in an exclusive club…HIS GRACE is open to ANYONE who comes to HIM, seeking HIM, not just what He can do for them.

 written by Jill Hughes, who has recently reached her goal weight!

I can not wait until I am like Jill!  At my goal weight (or at least closer to it!).  I can't wait to answer this question "Was it worth it?'  How amazing and exciting!

Thanks again Jill for letting me share your insight! 

Love and prayers friends!

All over the Place

Hello there!  Welcome to my scattered mind tonight!  I seriously have so much on my mind.  Prayer.  Fasting.  Weight loss.  Bible Study.  Scripture memorization.  Meal Planning.  My husband.  My kids (and how cute they were tonight!)  Online Bible Studies.  Decluttering.  Cleaning my car.  Work.  Cooking.  31 Party on Thursday.  


See what I mean?  And that was just about 30 seconds worth of a train of thought.  I drank a bottle of diet coke tonight, and as usual, I forgot what caffeine does to me!  So, here I am!  Jittery and unfocused!


Tonight I had my First Place for Health Bible Study.  I love that group so much.  But, I was disheartened to learn that we will not be meeting for the summer after May 22nd.  That gives me two more months of weekly accountability.  I think I am going to have to come up with another source of accountability...I'm praying that maybe two or three other people from the group will still  want to meet, pray , plan and discuss...oh yeah...and weigh in!  Last year, when we stopped meeting for the summer, I gained everything back, and MORE!  I do NOT want to repeat that this summer.  So, I will try to plan ahead and be proactive.  Oh, and one more thing from First Place for Health...I lost 4.2 this week on their scale!  This morning my scale weighed me in at 333!  That would put me at 27 lbs lost!  However, I want to see that number a few more times before I truly record it! 


When I reach 330 I will have reached my 30 pound milestone!  I am getting practical rewards at this point, since money is so tight, and when I reach that reward, I'm getting a new shower head!  WOO HOO!  It's going to be wondrous! :)


I've been working on adding more motion into my daily life.  I've been walking all kinds of places!  Whether its walking to Micah's school, around town, to church, or just walking up the stairs a few more times a day, I'm progressing.  I'm really hoping the walking will help me shed some inches.  I'm ready to fit into some jeans I found hiding in my closet!


The other thing I wanted to make sure I mention is the Online Bible Study I am starting in 4 days.  I think I have more reservations about it than I realize.  Perhaps more reservations about it than Made to Crave.  Made to Crave really hammered on my food issues, but this next book, "An Untroubled Heart" by Micca Campbell is going to deal with letting go of my anxiety.  The subtitle is "Finding a faith that is stronger than all my fears."  Now, because it is late, and I intend to go to bed soon, I will not list my fears tonight, but sometime soon, when I have prayed about it, and feel ready to do so without going into a panic attack, I will list some fears for you.  I am clouded by them constantly.  And I know this book is what I need to move to the next spiritual level...I know it will bring me to a new place of trust in God.  


However, I feel like I just went through a big transformation and I am still being transformed by Made to Crave.  I'm scared to hit this nerve in my life.  I hate to admit it, but my anxiety in a weird way gives me comfort about things. It almost feels like if I worry about something enough, that it protects me from whatever calamity I feel is about to befall me.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  Because it is foolishness!  


So, I know I have to be in prayer even now, because unearthing this spiritual and emotional footholds will not be easy.  And I need to really remember the truths from Made to Crave.  French Fries will not comfort me when I'm hurting and growing from this book. God will.  David will.  My friends will.  But, food will not.  


So, I hope you are ready to take this journey with me!  It's going to be hard!  But, it's going to be fabulous!  I can't wait to see what God is going to do in the next six weeks!  


How about you?  Leave me a comment letting me know what you see God doing in your life!  How can I pray for you? 

Surprise Conviction

***Disclaimer: This post took a completely different turn than what I originally planned on writing about.  But, I posted it anyways, because the gentle conviction of the Spirit was worth it.  I have a feeling I will revisit this post often, since I have found myself in this place before, and I imagine I may be here again.***

"Look to the Lord and his strength: seek his face always"  Psalm 105:4

Right now, at this very moment, I have a decision to make.  You, my reader friends, are my helpers right now.  I need prayer.  I need to remember that my strength comes from the Lord.  I need to remember that in DUE TIME I will reap benefits for my hard work.  


It is so disheartening to see the scale absolutely stuck for the last two weeks.  I was at 335 two weeks ago when I began writing in this blog.  When I got sick, despite much leaving my body, I STILL gained, and was up to 339.  Add in some hormonal issues, a little sleep deprivation, and yes, I'll admit it, some straying off my eating plan, and I was continually hovering around 337.  But, this week, I've been so diligent.  I've been disciplined with my eating.  At MOPS, I avoided all the delectable treats, and feasted on a big, satisfying salad.  Last night, when we had friends over for tacos, I made mine into a salad that followed my guidelines.  I even passed on dessert and ate a Greek yogurt instead.  I've made choices on our dinner with The Oakes Family and my parents that will help me be successful.  I've been walking, and moving, despite a shoulder and ankle injury.  I have kept pressing on, despite how hard it can be to do these things.


But, today, I weighed in, and it still said 336.4.  *Sigh*  How frustrating.  I was so hoping for even 334.9 (I want below 335 so badly!).  I'm going to carefully track every single bite today.  I'm going to examine myself  and make sure I'm not consuming more than I think.  I will drink at least 100 ounces of water.  


It's frustrating.  I want to throw in the towel for the weekend and enjoy all kinds of goodies, especially since Lydia's rescheduled party is tomorrow.  But, already as I spoke about examining myself, I've realized some issues I need to work on.  #1.  This week, despite my diligence in the eating arena, I haven't done my Bible Study like normal.  I've read some good Christian things, even a few devotionals here and there, and I've gone to three small groups...yet, I haven't been digging on my own like I know I should.  Perhaps getting truly realigned with scripture will help me.  #2.  I really do need to be tracking my food.  Enough said.  #3.  I have had a few big emotional issues that I can't really talk to anyone about come up.  I don't know how much truth there is about that hormone cortisol and weight gain in regards to stress, but it sounds like even though I can't talk to any other "human" about these things, that I need to chat with the Lord.  I'm not sure why prayer comes so easily at times, and than other times, it's hard to even say hi to God.


I just posted on my dear friend Jenna's blog about this yesterday, and the same truth I wrote to her, I'm writing to myself (and perhaps you) this morning.  A definition of a good week is not what the scale says, but rather our obedience.  Even as I write this, its becoming more and more clear to me that perhaps I wasn't as obedient as I thought.  Maybe, as I've told myself before, that pesky number on the scale isn't so bad (even when it rises) if you look at it as a reminder that when it is not where it needs to be, than chances are I'm not either.  


So, I am going to make a choice to see that number not as a harsh punishment, but rather gentle discipline to draw closer to the Lord and to follow His commands for my life more closely right now.  I'm looking forward to spending time with Him.  Drawing my delight not from food, but rather from Him. 


Wow...isn't it so funny how when we actually process things, and quit defending the "little" sins, how God can change things around?  I didn't want to be guilty in this post.  But, the truth is, I am guilty of not being surrendered.  I hate being convicted of it, because its hard to swallow (especially since the tendency arises to say, "But, what about that person?), but I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit takes the time to show me where I'm wrong. 


Now, my next choice is to do the next right thing.  That's a concept from Made to Crave that I always liked.  One choice leads to another, to another.  So, even though my family will be having chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, I will choose to have a veggie omelet.  I will choose to do my Bible study this morning.  I will choose to be in prayer with God.  I will chug some water.  I will track what I ate.  And, tomorrow, if the numbers still haven't changed, I will remind myself to read this post again.

5K!

Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Tonight, my mom and dad were gracious enough to watch the kiddos for us.  Lydia has been permanently attached to me lately, and while its nice to be wanted all the time, there is a limit, and I had reached mine.  Lydia really needed to be in the care of someone else for a while.


So, David and I decided to have a date night.  I cooked a high protein dinner (with yummy cantaloupe and pineapple on the side!).  We ate slowly and with romantic music in the background.  After dinner, David surprised me and asked me to dance.  I loved every second of it.  We had originally planned after that to go for a walk on the boardwalk (our wooded trail, which we love so much).  But, I felt this fire creep up into me.  I wanted to achieve something new tonight!  So, I asked David if he would show me the 5K trail around town.  He agreed.


As we headed down our street, then turned to climb the incline to our east, we did not go two blocks and my calves were already burning.  I said to David, "We've hit 2 miles already, right?" :)   Well, we kept walking despite the intense pain.  I stopped at several telephone poles and risked public humiliation as I braced myself against them to stretch my legs out.  I feel very conscious of my size doing things that look athletic like stretching!  I felt a little better and we kept walking.  


It was about 45 minutes into our walk when I desperately needed to stop and use the restroom at the gas station.  While I was in there, safely out of the view of the public, I stretched like crazy.  I got those legs nice and limber, and we bought a bottle of vitamin water while there too, so I could drink and avoid dehydrating, since this walk was taking a long time.  After that, I really started making progress and enjoying our walk.  This taught me that before I do any long walks, I'm going to do a brief 10 minute warm up and spend a lot of time stretching before we leave.


David was so patient, as he is a runner, and could have literally run 3 laps around me in the time it took me to finish.  The police officer in town kept driving by and waving. I liked to think of him as my personal cheerleader and bodyguard! (Hahaha!)  


The very last stretch of the 5K is climbing the big hill in the cemetery that is right next to my house.  On the way up that hill (which seemed soooo long today) I began to get a little tunnel vision going on or something. I was also beginning to see spots.  But, as soon as I got home, drank some water, and stretched some more those problems went away.  


The total time for my 5K was 1 hour and 28 minutes.  I know that is by no means a time that any normal person would be proud of for a 5K, but me...I'm thrilled!!!!  I finished it.  I keep having tears well up in my eyes because, though I have tried before, I have never finished a 5K.  It reminds me of a passage in James 1:2-3 

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  

I really did feel absolute joy at the end of that 5K!


It feels really good to have a victory tonight.  It came at just the right time. I was feeling like a failure lately, since I'm still struggling with my eating plan.  But, many times in my life,  I just need one victory to push me to the second one. 


One of the most amazing things that is blowing me away is the support of people.  I posted about my victory on Facebook tonight, and my page is blowing up with congratulations.  That means the world to me.  It gives me more reason to fight.  That people really care that I'm taking care of myself.  The accountability I receive from my blog, Facebook, and myfitnesspal.com are essential to my success.  Being transparent and real about my struggles is hard, but it offers a whole new level of accountability that changes things from nominal to real.  Thank you for being part of that!


Well, off to shower this sweat away, and hit the hay!  Thanks again for reading and for supporting me on this journey!