Wednesday, March 21, 2012

All over the Place

Hello there!  Welcome to my scattered mind tonight!  I seriously have so much on my mind.  Prayer.  Fasting.  Weight loss.  Bible Study.  Scripture memorization.  Meal Planning.  My husband.  My kids (and how cute they were tonight!)  Online Bible Studies.  Decluttering.  Cleaning my car.  Work.  Cooking.  31 Party on Thursday.  

See what I mean?  And that was just about 30 seconds worth of a train of thought.  I drank a bottle of diet coke tonight, and as usual, I forgot what caffeine does to me!  So, here I am!  Jittery and unfocused!

Tonight I had my First Place for Health Bible Study.  I love that group so much.  But, I was disheartened to learn that we will not be meeting for the summer after May 22nd.  That gives me two more months of weekly accountability.  I think I am going to have to come up with another source of accountability...I'm praying that maybe two or three other people from the group will still  want to meet, pray , plan and discuss...oh yeah...and weigh in!  Last year, when we stopped meeting for the summer, I gained everything back, and MORE!  I do NOT want to repeat that this summer.  So, I will try to plan ahead and be proactive.  Oh, and one more thing from First Place for Health...I lost 4.2 this week on their scale!  This morning my scale weighed me in at 333!  That would put me at 27 lbs lost!  However, I want to see that number a few more times before I truly record it! 

When I reach 330 I will have reached my 30 pound milestone!  I am getting practical rewards at this point, since money is so tight, and when I reach that reward, I'm getting a new shower head!  WOO HOO!  It's going to be wondrous! :)

I've been working on adding more motion into my daily life.  I've been walking all kinds of places!  Whether its walking to Micah's school, around town, to church, or just walking up the stairs a few more times a day, I'm progressing.  I'm really hoping the walking will help me shed some inches.  I'm ready to fit into some jeans I found hiding in my closet!

The other thing I wanted to make sure I mention is the Online Bible Study I am starting in 4 days.  I think I have more reservations about it than I realize.  Perhaps more reservations about it than Made to Crave.  Made to Crave really hammered on my food issues, but this next book, "An Untroubled Heart" by Micca Campbell is going to deal with letting go of my anxiety.  The subtitle is "Finding a faith that is stronger than all my fears."  Now, because it is late, and I intend to go to bed soon, I will not list my fears tonight, but sometime soon, when I have prayed about it, and feel ready to do so without going into a panic attack, I will list some fears for you.  I am clouded by them constantly.  And I know this book is what I need to move to the next spiritual level...I know it will bring me to a new place of trust in God.  

However, I feel like I just went through a big transformation and I am still being transformed by Made to Crave.  I'm scared to hit this nerve in my life.  I hate to admit it, but my anxiety in a weird way gives me comfort about things. It almost feels like if I worry about something enough, that it protects me from whatever calamity I feel is about to befall me.  Does that make sense?  Probably not.  Because it is foolishness!  

So, I know I have to be in prayer even now, because unearthing this spiritual and emotional footholds will not be easy.  And I need to really remember the truths from Made to Crave.  French Fries will not comfort me when I'm hurting and growing from this book. God will.  David will.  My friends will.  But, food will not.  

So, I hope you are ready to take this journey with me!  It's going to be hard!  But, it's going to be fabulous!  I can't wait to see what God is going to do in the next six weeks!  

How about you?  Leave me a comment letting me know what you see God doing in your life!  How can I pray for you? 

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