Oh, how I love the way God gives me answers. How He surprises me with them. Shortly after I finished my last post on Tuesday, God gave me the answers I needed to move forward. See, last post, as you may remember, I talked about this "switch." How I can go from feeling in control, connected to God, supported, and everything positive to a desperate woman ravaging for food (which I *still* think will fill me up emotionally and spiritually) in just a matter of minutes. I could not for the life of me place my finger on that switch. But, then, Mary Beth, my fearless friend and accountability partner, came to the rescue. She said that often, despite the rewards of being faithful in eating habits, she still feels deprived. When she said that, I stopped right in the middle of thoughts and said, "YES! YES! YOU ARE CORRECT!" Deprivation is the switch.
So, over the last few days, I've put on my thinking cap. Why can I go from good to the epitome of desperate so quickly? What makes me feel so deprived? Simply put, I take my focus off the cross, and put it on myself, someone else, or something of this world. Even if I have been a "good little Christian girl" that morning and read my Bible, prayed my prayers, worship the Lord in song and deed, it only takes a little taste of the world for me to forget how good God is. That I can forget so easily is disheartening, but it is the unfortunate truth of a gal who lives in a fallen world.
And, as I have mentioned before, the only way I know of to combat this world (and actually win) is Scripture. Later on Tuesday evening, I was studying the Bible with a group of ladies that I serve with on a MOPS ministry team. We looked at this beautiful passage that is an incredible summary of what Christ has done for us. Please, take your time reading this Scripture and let the meaning sink in...
"Being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:11-13
When I read the truth of what Jesus did for me...how we are now qualified to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light...and how we have redemption and the forgiveness of sins, it makes me feel so filled up. So loved completely. I read that truth and it makes me feel like I never have to feel desperate or deprived again.
Now, the fact of the matter is, I know the world will creep in from time to time. I'll get desperate. I'll binge. But, maybe those binges will be less. Maybe they will be farther apart, or I will be able to stop mid-binge because of the beautiful words Paul wrote to the Colossians. May I always be able to come back to them when I'm feeling deprived and say, "Christ has sacrificed everything for you...and you, Sarah Rose, have no right to feel deprived. Give thanks. Praise Him. And enjoy the fullness that can only be found in Jesus Christ.
So, that's where I am tonight. Clinging to what God has done for me through Christ. How about you? To whom or to what are you clinging?
Now, I just thought for fun, I would also update you on some other fun things going on in my life. This week, as far as weight loss, has been a bit of a downer, but there is still plenty of joy to be found! My baby girl Lydia Joelle is turning 3 this weekend! Due to the stomach flu, sinus infections and pneumonia infiltrating our house, we have decided to reschedule her party until the house has been fully bleached and professionally cleaned (by my girl Robin, who just started her own cleaning business!). But, we plan on celebrating by going and seeing the Lorax this weekend.
My sweet husband and I have been enjoying these deeply meaningful conversations at night. Tonight, we were listening to a radio sermon and laying on different couches, just smiling at each other. I feel so blessed. We couldn't stop grinning. We've been married for seven years, and even though we have just had the hardest battle of our marriage the last few months, we are more in love than ever. I love my Dreamy David and I'm so excited seeing how the Lord has been grabbing a hold of him and changing him into the man He wants David to be.
Micah, my five year old, recently told me he would no long kiss me, especially on the lips. I asked him to pray and ask God if he could just give me one more year of kisses. Well, Micah said at first he would only kiss me in April, but now he's decided it's okay again. Boy, am I ever grateful, because that kid is such a little love bug and I was a heartbroken mommy for a few days! Tonight, we heard a sermon in the car about loving the Lord first and foremost and I believe Micah may have received his first conviction from the Holy Spirit as he proclaimed later than evening that he will love God more than Mario games. Even though Micah is only five, he asked Jesus to be his Savior on November 9th of last year, and he really does love the Lord. I always encourage him to stay close to the Lord. He seems to have a wisdom beyond his years. I found myself talking to him about politics yesterday on the way home from the doctors!
I have been feeling so sick the last few days, but tonight, I'm up and writing, and reading, and just feeling a bit more like me. I've decided that tomorrow morning, I'm getting up at 6:30 to do my study, just as I would on a day I'm doing well. I'm going to fake feeling better, because I'm so tired of being sick! And despite being sick, the downtime has been pleasant. Oh, and I've had lots of time to improve my Tetris game...I'm currently holding a personal record of 216 lines and 333000 points!
I really appreciate those of you who read my blog. It means a lot that anyone would even want to read what I write. But, as many of you have commented, and I always have believed, it's so much easier to conquer things if you know that you are not the only one who feels that way!
So, my friends, I hope you seek the Lord today! That you praise Him! And that you don't beat my Tetris score! (Just kidding....kind of!) Much love!