And I MEAN IT!!! GOOOOOOD MORNING!
Today, I hit 25 lbs lost. That's about 1/10 of what I have to lose in total. That's still 13 lbs about my 10% goal. That's still 35 lbs above my first major goal...but HELLO!!! I LOST 25 lbs!
I could choose at this point to think about how far I have to go. And in someways, its very beneficial to look forward. But, for the next few minutes I'm reflecting over the last 25 lbs. It's taken me 2 months, which for someone in the 300's is actually sort of slow. I've cried more times than I would like to admit over not having a food of my choice. I've laid in bed listening to my tummy churn with hunger. I've been battling my body adjusting to life wthout all my fried "friends." But, in reality, the last two months have not been all misery.
In the middle of my bad attitude spells, and my feeling like I would die without a piece of chocolate pudding cake (I didn't eat it and I'm still alive!), I've been studying Made to Craveagain. This time, I've been studying it as part of an online group of over 9000 woman. Lead by a woman I have to come to love and respect, Melissa Taylor. And, in the Made to Crave study, I have found tidbit's that I will hold on to the rest of my battle with food, which, lets face it, will probably be the rest of my life.
The biggest thing I have learned is a quote I'm going to borrow from Lysa Terkerst. It's called a go-to script to help us replace our former thought that have entangled us and tripped us up. Ok, everyone, listen up to this:
STRUGGLING WITH MY WEIGHT ISN"T GOD"S MEAN CURSE ON ME, BUT AN OUTSIDE INDICATION THAT INTERNAL CHANGES ARE NEEDED FOR ME TO FUNCTION AND FEEL WELL!!!! (from the book Made to Crave)
Do you get that? God's not being mean to us "fatties!" He's reminding us of our need for him. I took that thought, and my intense cravings as prompts to pray. My pounds lost has been significant, but the spiritual side of me, the part that controls my thoughts has grown so much more than I could have ever dreamed.
I am not joking when I say that I currently wake up craving God's word. Not breakfast. And this doesn't mean that I'm perfect, or somehow have it all together. It's just where I am. I still struggle with sin, cravings, desires, etc, every single day. But, I just can't wait to open up the Word of God and see what He has for me every single day! It's exciting, as I am finding that the Bible is really strength for this battle! Who would have "thunk" it?!?!
I know lots of people are thinking I've overspiritualizing things. And that is ok for them to think that. Two months ago, I would have said the same thing. But, I know in my heart of hearts, for me to come back here in a few months and claim victory for losing 50 lbs, its only going to be if I'm centered in the Word and right thinking.
I just want to praise God for creating people like Lysa TerKeurst and Melissa Taylor. I want to praise God for my husband, who holds me when I cry over cake, and my kids who tell me every day how pretty I am (me! their 335 lb momma!). I also want to praise God for my accountability partner, Mary Beth. She puts up with more than any one human being should have to...reading all my journal posts, and answering nighttime phone calls, and helping me meal plan when I'm just not strong enough. I have friends like Robin, Lareina, Adrienne, and so many others that are constantly cheering me on. And my friend Brandi who graciously agreed to be my MOPS food police! I LOVE IT!!!! And my parents (all of them, mother in laws too!!!) have cheered me on more than ever this time. Oh, and there's my First Place For Health peeps....I think this list could go on and on and on!!!!!! JUST PRAISE GOD FOR HIS PROVISION!!!!!
It takes a villiage to raise a child, but apparently it takes one to help me lose weight too!!! I just feel so blessed to be surrounded by people everywhere who are supporting me, loving me, and helping me achieve my goals. I feel blessed to be loved enough by the God of the universe to have His Help doing this. And I must say, being 25 lbs lighter this morning, well, that too, makes me feel infinately blessed!