Three blocks away, in a dull roar of excitement, new sneakers, and fresh haircuts, my children are adjusting to the new school year. I had planned on walking them to school today, only to have that plan washed out by a steady, calm rain. So, we drove on over to the school and got them settled in. (Well, Lydia was still crying when I left, but I know that she will be enjoying her preschool day in no time!)
Back here at home, I'm enjoying hearing the rain. I did a list of 8 things in 38 minutes. I've been pondering scriptures as I roam around my house piecing this leftover summer mess together. I've been thinking of how much inner turmoil my heart has had lately. I've been thinking about a stress test I will be taking on Friday and praying the results are positively connected to the hard work I've done with my weight loss.
I also took the time to sign back into MyFitnessPal and enter in my newest weight. According to MFP, I've lost 44 pounds since I started tracking on their site. That's quite an accomplishment. I've been very aware of what I've been eating lately, and I've been making purposeful decisions to include more veggies and to eat only what my body needs. Truthfully, that has been very easy since my appetite has been all but non-existent lately. Even my "old normal" go to's like pizza and ice cream make me queasy. But, nevertheless, it still takes discipline to make sure you are eating chicken and green beans when you do not have an appetite.
I miss my kids, but I'm so relieved to have solitude. Next week the ministries that I'm involved in will kick in and my daytimes will be a little more busy and people filled. I'm just going to enjoy this day, rejoice in the Lord and try to hand my worries over to Him, one by one.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
8:01 am
The time is 7:55am.
At 8:00 the phone lines will open for my doctors office. I will call and hear the news.
Something came back wrong with my blood work.
I got the message last night about 4 minutes after Deb, the nurse, left for the day.
So, I've been waiting.
For hours.
Wondering. Anxious. Trying to rest in God's peace.
I've prayed.
I've hoped.
I've tried positive thinking.
I've prayed more.
I've had my friends pray.
And I've had David pray.
This morning I had a stroke of genius, and I opened God's word. (I know?!?)
Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
God's already there. He knows what the phone call is about. He knew what my lab results would be. I need to let go of my anxiousness and know that God commands me to not be afraid or discouraged. Time to cling to the Word of God in all it's amazing power.
Oh, it's now 8:01am.
At 8:00 the phone lines will open for my doctors office. I will call and hear the news.
Something came back wrong with my blood work.
I got the message last night about 4 minutes after Deb, the nurse, left for the day.
So, I've been waiting.
For hours.
Wondering. Anxious. Trying to rest in God's peace.
I've prayed.
I've hoped.
I've tried positive thinking.
I've prayed more.
I've had my friends pray.
And I've had David pray.
This morning I had a stroke of genius, and I opened God's word. (I know?!?)
Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
God's already there. He knows what the phone call is about. He knew what my lab results would be. I need to let go of my anxiousness and know that God commands me to not be afraid or discouraged. Time to cling to the Word of God in all it's amazing power.
Oh, it's now 8:01am.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
The Tale of Summer Sunday School Skipper
Many times in live, as we grow, as we age, as we see God's calling a tad bit more clear, we discover things about ourselves that are very surprising. For me, one of the most startling things is the unlayering of my true personality.
To be quite honest, for years, I thought that I was as "single layer" as you get. I was (and still am!) a mostly happy, bubbly, talkative people-lover. That part has not changed one bit. However, as God has called me deeper into motherhood, deeper into my faith, and now has instilled a passion in my heart for writing, I'm discovering a new layer of myself.
I'm a secret introvert.
I definitely have extroverted qualities. And I love the extroverted lifestyle.
But, for me to recharge, to feel whole, and to feel "me" I have to have time alone.
Many times what you read is a product of that alone time. And, if you have noticed, there has not been much writing production on my blog this summer.
The simple fact is that I'm almost never alone.
David's been working LONG, LONG hours, which leave him exhausted, and me as the sole parental unit for 90% of the summer days. I babysit for a living during the summer. I have four kids (my two included in this) which I never let out of my sight, and most of the time are within touching distance of me. I answer more, "Mom, how come?" questions than I ever even knew existed. Even my nighttime rest has been interrupted with nightmares, or sore tummies, or an exhausted husbands snores.
So, a girl like me has to find a way to recharge. That's why, during the summer, I'm a Sunday School Skipper. Every Sunday morning, I get up. I get to church and worship the Lord happily. I take notes, I get excited how to apply the Scriptures to my life. After the service, I visit with my church friends. The smiles warm my heart. The hugs and prayers soothe my soul. Then, I drop Micah and Lydia off at Sunday School. But, after that, the shameful part comes. Next, I slip out of that church as quickly as I can. I leave the remaining Humes Family members to be immersed in more Christian Education...and I sneak home. It's literally the only hour a week I get to myself during the summer.
It's a hard trade off. I love studying at Sunday School. I love visiting with other church members before and after class. But, I can not tell you how good this feels. I hear birds and a cricket chirping. I have a beautiful worship CD on, that is turned on just loud enough to hear it. I can hear the keys of the keyboard clicking as I type. And I'm alone. With my thoughts. With the Word of God. With my cup of milk and a slice of banana bread. A chance to sit quiet and let the Holy Spirit fill me before I start all over again this week.
During the school year, I have more of a schedule, and more regular alone time, and I've thoroughly enjoyed the things I've been studying in my Sunday School class. But, right now, I can't stop praising God that I live almost next door to my church, and I can quietly sneak away and be refreshed...even if it's only for one hour a week. It reinforces to me the Father really cares about his children! I love being a cherished daughter of the King...the King of the Universe who isn't surprised at all by my newly found desire to hide away in His presence alone.
Monday, July 8, 2013
Our Family of Ten
Romans 12:13 "When God's children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner, or, if they need lodging, for the night."
I love the twelfth chapter of the Book of Romans. I think you can tell from that verse alone that it is a practical chapter, that helps outline everyday living for a person who is trying to live the way God would desire them to live. There are so many other gems in Romans 12, and I will probably come back to other ones sometime soon, but this verse seemed so appropriate for what is happening in our life right now.
Or, actually, in the last year.
Tonight, as I was washing dishes after dinner, I was thinking about the past year. It hit me...in the past 11 months, 10 different people have lived under our roof. Obviously, there are the four Humes'. Add in a set of brothers and a set of sisters who we fostered for a while, and then, our Spanish girls, Elena and Maria, and that makes ten! Yes, our little yellow house has had a revolving door for guests this last year.
Maria, who is a gym teacher in Spain, has been with us for almost a week. We've been celebrating America's Independence Day (all weekend long!), chatting in English and Spanish, watching Drop Dead Diva and Grey's Anatomy, and of course, enjoying all the American cuisine that Maria's belly can handle! Just like every other addition of our family in the last year, Maria adds new perspective to our life.
Watching Maria, who is in the USA for the first time, experience my little house, neighborhood, even fireflies for the first time has helped me appreciate all our little blessings even more. I told her, very honestly, that it's a little intimidating to have a foreigner in our home because many people from other countries expect all Americans to live in fabulous, big house, and to have a lot more money than what we have. Her gracious response was that she was happy to be able to spend time with our family. I know that God had a hand in picking both Maria and Elena (our Spanish guest last August) for our family. Both of them are wonderful to our children, and beautiful additions to our family. I think I say "Thank You" to Maria about 5,000 time a day because she is so gracious, such a good teacher and very helpful. I just can't help but be so very thankful for her presence here.
God's Word is filled with little pieces of advice on how to make each day better. Over the last year, we have been applying Romans 12:13 to our lives, and the benefits are rich. Sometimes, like as in the case of our foster kids, the situations are harder than we could have ever imagined. However, other times, with the case of Elena and Maria, the transitions are much smoother. Either way, the benefit is, we learn about accepting others, very much like the way God accepts us. We learn to think about others more than ourselves, to see the world through another person's eyes, and to enjoy life in ways we often overlook.
So, over the last 11 months, our home has been "home" to ten people. For me, that is the biggest blessing. With each visit, our family grows more. I add another person to my list of people I pray for every day. I always wanted a big family. Often times, I would joke that I wanted eight kids. Well, if you add all of our "kids" together (despite the fact that Maria and Elena are nearly our age), we've hit the number eight. And I've decided that simply put, I no longer want eight "kids." No...I want so many more!
I love the twelfth chapter of the Book of Romans. I think you can tell from that verse alone that it is a practical chapter, that helps outline everyday living for a person who is trying to live the way God would desire them to live. There are so many other gems in Romans 12, and I will probably come back to other ones sometime soon, but this verse seemed so appropriate for what is happening in our life right now.
Or, actually, in the last year.
Tonight, as I was washing dishes after dinner, I was thinking about the past year. It hit me...in the past 11 months, 10 different people have lived under our roof. Obviously, there are the four Humes'. Add in a set of brothers and a set of sisters who we fostered for a while, and then, our Spanish girls, Elena and Maria, and that makes ten! Yes, our little yellow house has had a revolving door for guests this last year.
Maria, who is a gym teacher in Spain, has been with us for almost a week. We've been celebrating America's Independence Day (all weekend long!), chatting in English and Spanish, watching Drop Dead Diva and Grey's Anatomy, and of course, enjoying all the American cuisine that Maria's belly can handle! Just like every other addition of our family in the last year, Maria adds new perspective to our life.
Watching Maria, who is in the USA for the first time, experience my little house, neighborhood, even fireflies for the first time has helped me appreciate all our little blessings even more. I told her, very honestly, that it's a little intimidating to have a foreigner in our home because many people from other countries expect all Americans to live in fabulous, big house, and to have a lot more money than what we have. Her gracious response was that she was happy to be able to spend time with our family. I know that God had a hand in picking both Maria and Elena (our Spanish guest last August) for our family. Both of them are wonderful to our children, and beautiful additions to our family. I think I say "Thank You" to Maria about 5,000 time a day because she is so gracious, such a good teacher and very helpful. I just can't help but be so very thankful for her presence here.
God's Word is filled with little pieces of advice on how to make each day better. Over the last year, we have been applying Romans 12:13 to our lives, and the benefits are rich. Sometimes, like as in the case of our foster kids, the situations are harder than we could have ever imagined. However, other times, with the case of Elena and Maria, the transitions are much smoother. Either way, the benefit is, we learn about accepting others, very much like the way God accepts us. We learn to think about others more than ourselves, to see the world through another person's eyes, and to enjoy life in ways we often overlook.
So, over the last 11 months, our home has been "home" to ten people. For me, that is the biggest blessing. With each visit, our family grows more. I add another person to my list of people I pray for every day. I always wanted a big family. Often times, I would joke that I wanted eight kids. Well, if you add all of our "kids" together (despite the fact that Maria and Elena are nearly our age), we've hit the number eight. And I've decided that simply put, I no longer want eight "kids." No...I want so many more!
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Wipe Out
Sometimes, as parents, or even as children, we do something not really because we enjoy it, but simply because other people in our family enjoy it. And, by that simple choice of living sacrificially, we enjoy life richer, deeper, and happier.
Deep words for a simple decision that I made tonight---and will most likely make many Thursdays over the summer. Micah LOVES the show Wipe Out. I mean, the kid goes crazy. He laughs, he dodges as he's watching the screen, he roots with the passion that I didn't know was in him! Since we do not have any broadcast television in our home, Micah usually watches Wipe Out at Gramma and Papa's. He wanted us to go down. They wanted us to come over as well.
But, here's a little secret about me...I really do not like watching TV shows where people fall over and over. It's like watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation all over again. Except, if I was watching National Lampoon's Christmas vacation, I would shut the TV off about 37 minutes into it! But, everyone else just loves watching this show. So, I did what any good Mommy and Daughter would do. I plopped down with everyone else, and decided to enjoy the time with them.
Because, really, in my mind, it wasn't about watching who would win the fifty grand or if "Team Brains" or "Team Braun" would be victorious (by the way...Go Brains!). It was enjoying the fact that my dad is home. It was relishing in the blessing that my children can go to my parents home, with both grandparents there. Yes, things are different. But, we were all together. For that hour TV show, we were all happy. I didn't even end up picking my "Little House on the Prarie" book off the table, because I actually was so taken with watching the look on my dad's face as he laughs. Or just watching him watch Micah and Lydia react to the show. Watching my mom cuddle with Lydia. Giving David a hug in between commercial breaks. Being in the same room with the people I love most in this world: My husband, my children and my parents...seriously, you just can't beat that.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Summer Trends
There are several trends emerging this summer that have me pushing the crazy button...
1.Why is closing car doors so easily forgotten by my children? As I'm walking in carrying 15 bags, plus whatever odds and ends I can hold in between my fingers, my children crawl out of the car...only to leave the door open and the battery draining. This trend will be rectified immediately. And NOT with a sticker chart. 2. What is up with a MASSIVE injury nearly every day. Two near-concussions, one (pedestrian) collision with a huge tree, a bloody nose yesterday, a tumble down the entire stair case today...all accompanied by the kind of screams a mom dreads! I think we may be investing in bubble wrap around here! 3. "Mom, Look!" (per my children) "Sarah, Look!" (per my babysitting kids) is no longer a reliable way to make me look at anything. EVER. Because, yes, I know your toe has dirt. Yes, I do know that is a purple crayon. Yup. You have boogers. Uh, uh. I know you know how to spell "cow." I will not look at anything on a paper, until that paper is completed. Until every workbook answer is filled in. Until every I is topped with a dot, until every cranny of your fairy's wings have been colored in. I'm actually contemplating a five look minimum, per kid, and times like cooking and washing dishes that make me exempt from looking.
Please, don't take this post as complaining. It's not. I love my children. I love my job. I love summer. And most of all, I love the fact that because we are so busy going places, and getting injured, and creating things that my kids never, ever say, "I'm bored."
1.Why is closing car doors so easily forgotten by my children? As I'm walking in carrying 15 bags, plus whatever odds and ends I can hold in between my fingers, my children crawl out of the car...only to leave the door open and the battery draining. This trend will be rectified immediately. And NOT with a sticker chart. 2. What is up with a MASSIVE injury nearly every day. Two near-concussions, one (pedestrian) collision with a huge tree, a bloody nose yesterday, a tumble down the entire stair case today...all accompanied by the kind of screams a mom dreads! I think we may be investing in bubble wrap around here! 3. "Mom, Look!" (per my children) "Sarah, Look!" (per my babysitting kids) is no longer a reliable way to make me look at anything. EVER. Because, yes, I know your toe has dirt. Yes, I do know that is a purple crayon. Yup. You have boogers. Uh, uh. I know you know how to spell "cow." I will not look at anything on a paper, until that paper is completed. Until every workbook answer is filled in. Until every I is topped with a dot, until every cranny of your fairy's wings have been colored in. I'm actually contemplating a five look minimum, per kid, and times like cooking and washing dishes that make me exempt from looking.
Please, don't take this post as complaining. It's not. I love my children. I love my job. I love summer. And most of all, I love the fact that because we are so busy going places, and getting injured, and creating things that my kids never, ever say, "I'm bored."
Friday, June 21, 2013
GRACE
Grace.
A rich, lovely gift that comes straight from the heart of God. Through his son. At no cost to me. Freely given. That's heavenly grace.
Grace.
Giving a person the ability to just be who they are, without coming down too hard on them...accepting them, loving them. That's the earthly version.
I've always felt called to be a "grace giver." God has called me to live a life of compassion. I have always had the ability to love a little bit deeper than the average person. I forgive things that most people could never let go of. Some people calling that "getting walked all over." I call it love. I do not say that to brag of myself, but only to recognize God's calling on my life. The only way to be who we really are is to be who God has called us to be. (That's almost as good as Lydia saying, "If I was still three, then I couldn't be four.")
Anyways, being one who has been called to extend special measures of grace, has it's challenges. Moving past moments that have crushed me, letting go of my "human rights" and living with a heart that is more emotional, so tender, that most people can not even understand the depth of my emotions. Part of the reason we have no network or cable TV in our home is because I would watch the news and just sob. Faces would be etched in my memory of hurting people. People I could't help. But, I couldn't forget them. So, I did what I had to and stopped watching.
But, when it's your family, and it's real life, there is no TV to shut off. My heart aches for my Dad and Mom. My Gram. David's Gram. David's Aunt Terry. Now, my cousin Chris. I can't look away from their pain. So many people flippantly tell me to just 'let it go.' There are needs that are greater than people can imagine present. My heart aches. I have no idea how situations will pan out, medically, spiritually, or financially. Their are souls and lives at stake here. Everyone else's answer is to let it go. Yes, I pray for them all. Yes, I trust God with them. But, God called us to be people of action as well. Being a person of action means that sometimes I'm solving problems that are way beyond my capability. Sometimes, I'm in situations that make me uncomfortable. I'm trying to do what is in my power, without stealing any of God's power. I mess up at that sometimes.
I guess the point of this all is I need grace too. I need a little grace to fall apart sometimes. I need people to understand that I'm not your average person. I'm not even sure what "letting it go" is. My friend Leah once said about me that I have a sensitive soul. My heart breaks for people. It always has. I remember sitting on a Santa's lap in the Value City store crying because I didn't understand why he couldn't give poor kids presents too. I was four. So, imagine, if my heart breaks for poor kids who I have never met, I'm pretty sure that my parent's situation, along with my other family members' ordeals, will make my stomach turn, my eyes tear up, and yes, maybe even leave me a little disheartened. I'm human. I'm a kid with parents who need more help than I could ever offer right now. And, I'm being flooded on every angle. What I really want is a hug, and some extra love. And, while I'm always open to spiritual growth and maturing in my faith, sometimes I do not want a lesson on how to be a "better Christian" during these times. I'm holding as tightly to my faith as I can right now, balancing more than most people could imagine, and trusting God's grace to cover my shortcomings there as well.
A rich, lovely gift that comes straight from the heart of God. Through his son. At no cost to me. Freely given. That's heavenly grace.
Grace.
Giving a person the ability to just be who they are, without coming down too hard on them...accepting them, loving them. That's the earthly version.
I've always felt called to be a "grace giver." God has called me to live a life of compassion. I have always had the ability to love a little bit deeper than the average person. I forgive things that most people could never let go of. Some people calling that "getting walked all over." I call it love. I do not say that to brag of myself, but only to recognize God's calling on my life. The only way to be who we really are is to be who God has called us to be. (That's almost as good as Lydia saying, "If I was still three, then I couldn't be four.")
Anyways, being one who has been called to extend special measures of grace, has it's challenges. Moving past moments that have crushed me, letting go of my "human rights" and living with a heart that is more emotional, so tender, that most people can not even understand the depth of my emotions. Part of the reason we have no network or cable TV in our home is because I would watch the news and just sob. Faces would be etched in my memory of hurting people. People I could't help. But, I couldn't forget them. So, I did what I had to and stopped watching.
But, when it's your family, and it's real life, there is no TV to shut off. My heart aches for my Dad and Mom. My Gram. David's Gram. David's Aunt Terry. Now, my cousin Chris. I can't look away from their pain. So many people flippantly tell me to just 'let it go.' There are needs that are greater than people can imagine present. My heart aches. I have no idea how situations will pan out, medically, spiritually, or financially. Their are souls and lives at stake here. Everyone else's answer is to let it go. Yes, I pray for them all. Yes, I trust God with them. But, God called us to be people of action as well. Being a person of action means that sometimes I'm solving problems that are way beyond my capability. Sometimes, I'm in situations that make me uncomfortable. I'm trying to do what is in my power, without stealing any of God's power. I mess up at that sometimes.
I guess the point of this all is I need grace too. I need a little grace to fall apart sometimes. I need people to understand that I'm not your average person. I'm not even sure what "letting it go" is. My friend Leah once said about me that I have a sensitive soul. My heart breaks for people. It always has. I remember sitting on a Santa's lap in the Value City store crying because I didn't understand why he couldn't give poor kids presents too. I was four. So, imagine, if my heart breaks for poor kids who I have never met, I'm pretty sure that my parent's situation, along with my other family members' ordeals, will make my stomach turn, my eyes tear up, and yes, maybe even leave me a little disheartened. I'm human. I'm a kid with parents who need more help than I could ever offer right now. And, I'm being flooded on every angle. What I really want is a hug, and some extra love. And, while I'm always open to spiritual growth and maturing in my faith, sometimes I do not want a lesson on how to be a "better Christian" during these times. I'm holding as tightly to my faith as I can right now, balancing more than most people could imagine, and trusting God's grace to cover my shortcomings there as well.
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