I made a weird change to my healthy lifestyle pursuit over the last week.
At first, it happened by accident.
When we went on vacation, I quit journaling my food on My Fitness Pal because it was so hard to get an accurate calorie count on what I was eating and when and how much. However, the downside of that was I quit journaling my food intake all together. As a result I ate many goodies that perhaps I would have avoided with that written accountablilty.
As we reentered normal life, I was struggling signing back into My Fitness Pal. Part of it was because I had not yet recommitted myself back to normal healthy eating. Another reason was because we had family in from Georgia that week, David's birthday party, and several family crisises to keep my busy. However, I did jot notes down on what I had been eating. I wrote them on a legal pad, in scribbled writing, but the summary of what I ate was there. And each day my list started to look a little healthier.
When I weighed in on Tuesday, I was down about 3 pounds.
As I thought about it, I realized that I was actually eating less by not using MFP.
Now, please, do not misunderstand me. I LOVE MFP! I love using it to track myself and to help me obtain my goals. But, right now I think I'm being challenged to a different thought pattern. See, on MFP it reminds me every day that in order to lose the healthy 2 pounds a week that I should be eating approx 1800 calories a day (this is based off a complex formula using weight, age, activity level, etc.) And let me tell you, I LOVE being able to eat 1800 calories a day and still lose weight.
But, God has set a new challenge in front of me...a new mind set.
Instead of always looking at "HOW MUCH CAN I HAVE" maybe I should be looking at "HOW LITTLE DO I NEED?"
Before everyone starts getting worried about me or thinking that I'm starving myself, let me assure you that I'm not. I'm still eating 2-3 meals a day, with 1-3 snacks. And, right now, I am planning on this just being a season. Eventually I will go back to using MFP as a tool, but not until I get my heart and mind submitted a little more to Christ instead of the numbers and how I can "work the system" to eat as much as I want.
See, here was the issue. I would start out my day with a base calorie goal of 1800 calories. But what would happen is as I would enter my circuit training that would give me another 700 calories that I burned, or an extra 400 calories from biking, or sometimes I would exercise a lot and end up with 1400 extra calories and all the sudden I had an excuse to eat a high calorie, fatty meal, so I would hit my 1800 calorie goal. (It's weird, it's all these net calories and total calories, etc...hard to explain, but long story short, I was using the numbers as justification to overeat.)
I need to let the Lord fill me and be my portion. I need to exercise because it's good for my body and soul and not because it lets me eat another 400 extra calories.
I need to get my mind off of the numbers for a while, and instead let my heart focus on God.
So, I went to the Dollar General store, bought myself a pretty little notebook for a dollar, and I'm focusing very hard on eating only when I feel truly hungry, trying to make decent choices in the process, and stopping before I get full, just at that satisfied mark. And, the best part, I'm trying to let God fill me up, and not food.