I'm settling down into my computer chair, with my stomach fluttering a little. I wonder if it would be wise to maybe unplug the computer, shut the windows and just relax. But, the rumble outside stirs my soul up in a way and I just want to hear what lessons the Lord is speaking to me, right now in the moment. In the scary, unknown moment.
Even as I typed that last sentence, the rain intensifies in speed, and is coming down really hard. I hear it slapping against the side of my house and it's coming in windows that I had left open. The thunder's boom is greater, stronger, and more threatening than before. Yes, I'm a little jumpy with each flash of lightning, but I keep praying my "go to" prayer right now..."Lord, help me be okay with being unsettled."
Oh, how my life reminds me of this hard spring rain with all kinds of ominous noise in the background.
I'm thankful that right now, I can see the beauty of my rainstorm. The fact that even though things are intense, I feel miserable, and that seemingly bad things are happening all around...even through all of that, I can look in between the rain drops. And just like this spring storm right now, I can still hear the birds chirping and I can see the grass growing greener by the minute. There's so much good in these storms.
Sure, that blasted roof in the downstairs bathroom will probably be leaking for a day or two from the hard rains, and I will have a nice pile of twigs to pick up, and we will have mud to slosh around in as we walk and play in the yard. But, is there anything as fun and rejuvenating in the world as puddle jumping? Picking up sticks is great exercise, and when the storm passes, it makes us so grateful for the sunshine. Even the leaky roof...it's fixable...with the right amount of time and sacrifice!
And, this storm that's passing by our little town right now, it ended up being longer than I expected. Not terribly longer, just longer than what I had thought. But, it's settled down. And actually, I already miss the flashes of lightning. I'm soothed by the little bit of thunder I still hear rumbling in the distance.
Just like I chose to fight against the fear of the storm, I'm going to choose to fight against the misery that often accompanies life's storms. I will choose joy. I will choose optimism. I will choose to keep on going, even if it looks like I'm loosing the battle. And I will remember that I've been called by God, that I'm loved by God, and that in all things, He has my good in mind. (Romans 8:28)
On Monday, I asked my Bible study girls to pray that God would remove the black cloud hanging over my head lately. God didn't answer that prayer. Instead, He gave me another answer that was much more satisfying...the ability to see that silver lining.